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ssandra · 11-03-2009, 05:33 PM

I am having a fight with my husband and he accuses me of being selfish... I actually think it is the other way around.. I´m looking for imput here, not to rub his nose in it, but to see if I am seeing reality or if I need to see it more from his point of view...

Small backstory...

For 1,5 years he didn´t work (not his fault, and I don´t blame him). He did most in the house and I helped every now and then
Next 1 year we both worked and divided the household choirs equally
Then I started my own company and worked from home for 6 months.. I didn´t make any money to speak of and I did most of the house work
Now...
We are moving to Mexico soon (already lots of stress so therefor the fights probably..)
I arranged most of the moving. He helped friday night and saturday morning and midday. I did all the heavy moving myself.
I have also been running around town getting everything arranged for this move.

Yesterday I have been out all day doing stuff, arranging stuff etc. Today I had to stay home because we had to wait for the company to pick up our stuff. All the same I did the dishes and vacuumed.

Tomorrow there are several errands to run... I suggested that I would do them so he can sleep in (he took that day off). In the evening we have to take a train so the next day we can be at the airport.
I am asking him if in the afternoon he can clean he house we are staying (of friends) and do the dishes.
In the mean time I do the laundry (outside the house, so I have to stay there) and pack our bags. This is in the afternoon, after lunch, since in the morning I will be busy and he will be sleeping.

He now sais it is selfish of me to ask him to do anything because when we get to mexico he will have to work 2 jobs, including one with a time difference so he will be working very hard.

I am saying that I am already doing 98% of everything and will do so in Mexico as well, so that he is selfish not to want to vacuum and do the dishes tomorrow.

What is your opinion on this?

(for the rest our marriage is good, only we live in 2 different realities most of the time... I think he is selfish, he thinks I am... I think he is difficult, he thinkgs I am... but we love each other and there is no abuse going on)

11-03-2009, 05:33 PM	#1 (permalink)
ssandra Banned Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Mexico City Posts: 11,168	Am I being selfish? I am having a fight with my husband and he accuses me of being selfish... I actually think it is the other way around.. I´m looking for imput here, not to rub his nose in it, but to see if I am seeing reality or if I need to see it more from his point of view... Small backstory... For 1,5 years he didn´t work (not his fault, and I don´t blame him). He did most in the house and I helped every now and then Next 1 year we both worked and divided the household choirs equally Then I started my own company and worked from home for 6 months.. I didn´t make any money to speak of and I did most of the house work Now... We are moving to Mexico soon (already lots of stress so therefor the fights probably..) I arranged most of the moving. He helped friday night and saturday morning and midday. I did all the heavy moving myself. I have also been running around town getting everything arranged for this move. Yesterday I have been out all day doing stuff, arranging stuff etc. Today I had to stay home because we had to wait for the company to pick up our stuff. All the same I did the dishes and vacuumed. Tomorrow there are several errands to run... I suggested that I would do them so he can sleep in (he took that day off). In the evening we have to take a train so the next day we can be at the airport. I am asking him if in the afternoon he can clean he house we are staying (of friends) and do the dishes. In the mean time I do the laundry (outside the house, so I have to stay there) and pack our bags. This is in the afternoon, after lunch, since in the morning I will be busy and he will be sleeping. He now sais it is selfish of me to ask him to do anything because when we get to mexico he will have to work 2 jobs, including one with a time difference so he will be working very hard. I am saying that I am already doing 98% of everything and will do so in Mexico as well, so that he is selfish not to want to vacuum and do the dishes tomorrow. What is your opinion on this? (for the rest our marriage is good, only we live in 2 different realities most of the time... I think he is selfish, he thinks I am... I think he is difficult, he thinkgs I am... but we love each other and there is no abuse going on)