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Nimo · 11-03-2009, 01:42 PM

Hey,

I don't remember the title to his book but Dr. James Dobson says to cause a 'crisis' in the relationship that will force the man to get back to his senses be it moving out, holding your position on a certain issue, acting different from how you would normally...the essence is to destabilize him, to cause him to start thinking different about the situation.Maybe he does really love you but you are too needy and available.

What i would suggest you do is to cause a crisis of your own desire. if you live together, move out (note do not threaten to move out verbally, pack a bag and leave...or make sure he finds you packing), if he has a key to your house, change the locks and ask the door man not to let him in...something that is drastic( note: not meant to embarrass him, rather, to tell him that there has been ' change in management'). do not call him during this separation, not even to know if he has taken his medicine..if he is man enough to flirt, he is man enough to take his meds.

Do not initiate contact and when he contacts you (which he will- getting to that in a moment), answer his call, respond to his message with calmness and
self control. do not yell or argue (restrain yourself even if you have to literally bite your tongue). the reason for this is to concretize the idea that you are a changed woman and longer bothered by his behavior...he may trigger you by flirting with another girl in your presence so as to stoke your fire and force you to explode (or act in a manner similar to what he is used to/ familiar with - whining, crying etc). he is comfortable when you act this way because he knows how to handle you.

Your period of separation needs to be long enough for him to miss you... now this is the hard part...men can take forever to act.. do not be intimidated.HE WILL CONTACT YOU IF HE LOVES YOU or at least if he wants to talk. Hold out until he does. It is when he contacts you that he will want to meet you (as above) or talk. otherwise and here is the hard part..if he doesn't call then he wasn't that into you and the job is cut out for you..move along.

i promise you that when he comes for you, he will such a changed man you will want to marry him (DONT...not immediately though)..sense will now reside in his head.

I read his book when my relationship had started to go sour.. i pulled a crisis he will never forget. while i could call him up to 10 times a day and many of them calls go answered, today, he will call me at least once a day to check up on me..just to say hi. i do not call, text or email anymore. i could go all crazy if he as much as mentioned another girls name, now i do not care if he tattooed their names on his forehead. i was jealous of his lady friends but now, WHATEVA!!!

suffice to say the crisis worked better for me...

Try it..or better still dump him while you are still ahead.

All my love sweetie and all zi best.

11-03-2009, 01:42 PM	#21 (permalink)
Nimo Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Kenya Posts: 60	Cause a CRISIS!!! Hey, I don't remember the title to his book but Dr. James Dobson says to cause a 'crisis' in the relationship that will force the man to get back to his senses be it moving out, holding your position on a certain issue, acting different from how you would normally...the essence is to destabilize him, to cause him to start thinking different about the situation.Maybe he does really love you but you are too needy and available. What i would suggest you do is to cause a crisis of your own desire. if you live together, move out (note do not threaten to move out verbally, pack a bag and leave...or make sure he finds you packing), if he has a key to your house, change the locks and ask the door man not to let him in...something that is drastic( note: not meant to embarrass him, rather, to tell him that there has been ' change in management'). do not call him during this separation, not even to know if he has taken his medicine..if he is man enough to flirt, he is man enough to take his meds. Do not initiate contact and when he contacts you (which he will- getting to that in a moment), answer his call, respond to his message with calmness and self control. do not yell or argue (restrain yourself even if you have to literally bite your tongue). the reason for this is to concretize the idea that you are a changed woman and longer bothered by his behavior...he may trigger you by flirting with another girl in your presence so as to stoke your fire and force you to explode (or act in a manner similar to what he is used to/ familiar with - whining, crying etc). he is comfortable when you act this way because he knows how to handle you. Your period of separation needs to be long enough for him to miss you... now this is the hard part...men can take forever to act.. do not be intimidated.HE WILL CONTACT YOU IF HE LOVES YOU or at least if he wants to talk. Hold out until he does. It is when he contacts you that he will want to meet you (as above) or talk. otherwise and here is the hard part..if he doesn't call then he wasn't that into you and the job is cut out for you..move along. i promise you that when he comes for you, he will such a changed man you will want to marry him (DONT...not immediately though)..sense will now reside in his head. I read his book when my relationship had started to go sour.. i pulled a crisis he will never forget. while i could call him up to 10 times a day and many of them calls go answered, today, he will call me at least once a day to check up on me..just to say hi. i do not call, text or email anymore. i could go all crazy if he as much as mentioned another girls name, now i do not care if he tattooed their names on his forehead. i was jealous of his lady friends but now, WHATEVA!!! suffice to say the crisis worked better for me... Try it..or better still dump him while you are still ahead. All my love sweetie and all zi best.