you know cylon, apparently this does have something to do with people generally admiring and appreciating my contributions there. i guess that's why i was compared to Jesus. maybe i threaten him by having that many people who value me since my psych background means i could technically do all sorts of sneaky things with that power (that i have zero desire to do). i've learned some tough lessons about responsible use of power and have no intention of doing those things he seems to be playing chicken little over.
for this situation, i don't think it's as much about criticism (he gives it and gets it) as a desire to go on the offensive to avoid feeling weak. not sure if i can explain this but intuitively that feels closer to the truth, especially with the predator/prey theme.
i hope you are completely over it... wouldn't want you to get a universal humbling by saying that
i agree with your bottom line, and the moment the bad outweighs the good, or the moment i notice i have internalized any of those malicious ideas, i'll leave that place. the joy i get from connecting with those friends and the boost my inner authentic self gets from the help i'm able to give is not worth sacrificing the gains i've made in the area of self-esteem.