Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - You should know that confidence is not self-esteem

nvictor · 02-22-2007, 10:08 PM

Hello people, here is my thoughts about what I've learned today. The original article is from a french psychology-related website.

The french dictionary says, confidence : feeling of security --- self-esteem : good opinion about oneself. So according to these definitions we can know when our problems are confidence-related or related to one's self-esteem. It's simple.

1.
If you are not confident doing something, it's because you are afraid doing that thing. It's normal for an adult you know!. He has experienced similar things before, or he has been taught to be scare of what he doesn't know. Take children as example, they often try it several times before quit. And that "quit" will be memorized. If they quit it the first time, it's because the experience was too brutal...

The conclusion is confidence come by trying, by experience. It's not about doing it eyes-closed. It's about choosing not to do it because you've done it before and know what you have to lose, or do it because you don't really know what can happen.

My personal conclusion is that confidence is about choosing the next best thing to do when you know what are the stakes.

2.
Well, the article says that self-esteem is having a good opinion of yourself. It's about being valable. Do you consider yourself valable? To who? Your family? Your friends? Yourself? That last one is very important but often missed by people. How much do you respect yourself? Your values? How much do you let others know these values?

Think about it a minute. Is your problem a confidence problem or a self-esteem problem?

Well that's about self-esteem, I don't know that many songs that boost self-esteem but you can listen at "Hero" by Mariah Carey, it remembers you that the real hero lies in you. And you can also listen to "Return to innocence" by Enigma [you will love it, it's coupled with indian chants] that I quote below:

"Love...devotion...feeling...emotion
Don't be afraid to be weak
Or be too proud to be strong

Just look into yourself my friend
That would be the return to yourself
The return to innocence...
...

And if you want then start to laugh
And if you must then start to cry
Be yourself, don't hide
Just believe in destiny

Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and give a chance
To return to Innocence.
"
Return to innocence by Enigma

Have a good one

Victor

02-22-2007, 10:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
nvictor Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 205	You should know that confidence is not self-esteem Hello people, here is my thoughts about what I've learned today. The original article is from a french psychology-related website. The french dictionary says, confidence : feeling of security --- self-esteem : good opinion about oneself. So according to these definitions we can know when our problems are confidence-related or related to one's self-esteem. It's simple. 1. If you are not confident doing something, it's because you are afraid doing that thing. It's normal for an adult you know!. He has experienced similar things before, or he has been taught to be scare of what he doesn't know. Take children as example, they often try it several times before quit. And that "quit" will be memorized. If they quit it the first time, it's because the experience was too brutal... The conclusion is confidence come by trying, by experience. It's not about doing it eyes-closed. It's about choosing not to do it because you've done it before and know what you have to lose, or do it because you don't really know what can happen. My personal conclusion is that confidence is about choosing the next best thing to do when you know what are the stakes. 2. Well, the article says that self-esteem is having a good opinion of yourself. It's about being valable. Do you consider yourself valable? To who? Your family? Your friends? Yourself? That last one is very important but often missed by people. How much do you respect yourself? Your values? How much do you let others know these values? Think about it a minute. Is your problem a confidence problem or a self-esteem problem? Well that's about self-esteem, I don't know that many songs that boost self-esteem but you can listen at "Hero" by Mariah Carey, it remembers you that the real hero lies in you. And you can also listen to "Return to innocence" by Enigma [you will love it, it's coupled with indian chants] that I quote below: "Love...devotion...feeling...emotion Don't be afraid to be weak Or be too proud to be strong Just look into yourself my friend That would be the return to yourself The return to innocence... ... And if you want then start to laugh And if you must then start to cry Be yourself, don't hide Just believe in destiny Don't care what people say Just follow your own way Don't give up and give a chance To return to Innocence. " Return to innocence by Enigma Have a good one Victor Last edited by nvictor; 02-22-2007 at 10:15 PM.