[misscheerios2]

I have had my bf for almost 2 years. I love him, but he has hurt me a few times flirting with other girls on facebook and trading sexual texts with one of my college roommates. That damn near broke my heart. I found all of this out by snooping on his phone, facebook...anything I get my hands on. He also used to have a nasty habit of intimidating me by pointing out "more attractive" women when we were out together in public. That hurts almost unbearingly. I didn't have self-esteem issues, but started to worry about myself in new ways because of him. I explained to him that he was hurting me, and he stopped a lot but not completely. I feel insecure like any girl could take my place when I am devoted to him. I actually am tearing up badly as I write this. He told me he will change but I can't get over it. He always says he'll change! He does usually make considerable change but I have this extra baggage...I have trouble getting over what he's already done. I can't leave him and idk why...I love him still very much. And the last few times I saw him he was so sweet and nice...reminding me why I loved him in the first place. But I can't get over my paranoia about what he might do and I don't trust him much at all. What do I do? I'm feeling hurt but attached at the same time. =( I know I'm one of those pathetic women who cannot do what's right for herself I guess...but he is my first serious romance.