Quote:
Originally Posted by rei  you simply decide to go for it. walk over, introduce yourself. ask them about their opinion on some current local or national event (but not an especially political one). or ask a question based on the environment - if it's a classroom, ask about their opinion of the class, if it's a sports bar, their favorite team, etc. basically it's about making small talk, and i'm not much of an expert on that as i'm not a fan of small talk... i prefer deep, intense, exploratory conversations. but that's usually not too kosher when you don't know someone.
a pretty easy way is to focus on the person, ask a question that requires more than a yes or no (how, where, etc. instead of 'do you' for example). and then actually listen instead of thinking 'this person doesn't really want to talk to me' or any other self-focused thought. focus on that person, what they actually say, and respond to what they say.
really the best way to learn these things is to get out there and do it. don't expect perfection each time, and don't expect massive failure either. just go for it, i feel like you have built it all up as a big scary thing and it doesn't HAVE to be. you can shift how you look at it. focus on the other person more than you focus on yourself, be present in the conversation and you'll be fine. |
Okay, thank you.. I will TRY. This seems like one of the hardest things to do, ever..for me. I don't know how it's so easy for you guys..but for me, just walking over to someone sitting down, in a public place, and asking a random question sounds to me like a very difficult thing to do.. Are you saying I have to face my fears and do it? Sigh...it's just so hard.
Thank you very much guys.
More replies are always welcome, the more the replies, the more helpful.
As you stated in your posts.
Social Anxiety Disorder - I think I have that...almost positive
OCD - I have that, definitely..
Perfectionism - I think I have that, almost positive
wow, I have all this, does that make me worthless..I mean..can these things be fixed/cured?
I think I might be bipolar too, not really sure about that. But, overall I might be someone with social anxiety disorder, OCD, perfectionism, borderline disorder, bipolar disorder, and having a big ego.. I want all these to GO AWAY FOREVER..