Hey guys, thanks for the replies. Definitely had a good look at them.
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Well, this is all ego.. you see you activate the ego because you are insecure about who you are.. your busy planning and positioning to not get a negative reply or to not have conflicts..
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I agree it is this... but i believe to a lesser extent than you perceive. i think it is in combination with another factor: Feeling liked.
Basically i too easily perceive myself how others perceive me. And i hate the feeling of being disliked. Therefore caring about what others think about me is magnified.
I think this gets in the way of my basic socializing a bit (not with people i'm close to... but with people who dont feel warm to me).
When i feel like someone has a poor perception of me (whether they do or dont), i kind of struggle to talk to them openly and comfortably.
This leads me to believe that perhaps another problem for me to look at is that i think i tend to subconsciously
want approval from my peers, but because of my beliefs and lack respect for other people who i notice do it, i dont actively/openly seek it out. Because i believe that a person shouldn't seek approval (even though i hadnt recognized this trait in
myself). So now it's become sorta repressed.
This could mean that this deep-down need for approval and permission has been so unacknowledged by myself that it's coming to the surface with this issue, so that it can have light shed on it.
Possibly.
Do you think this ties in? Any more words of advice of how i can tackle this? You've been a great help so far.