[AtomicAnt]

Rei,

I've had lots of close gay friends for years. They aren't into role playing and I think their relationships are as strong, if not stronger, than straight couples I've known. Most I know are lesbians. I think their relationships are happier than those lesbians who are into role playing. They've talked about that and it's long to explain.

What I'm saying is don't worry about what role you're in - you don't have to be into one AT ALL. You're both just women in love. Most lesbians were tomboys to a degree, so that doesn't mean anything.

I think you'll find all kinds out there and the bar scene is the roughest. Plus, the bar scene tends to be young women, mostly in their 20s.

Some lesbians, on the other hand, are very much into role playing. I don't know any who like to wear dresses, so it's not as easy as that to meet someone and instantly know if they're one of the role-playing ones. Sounds like you aren't into that. But the role players often look the part because that's what they like, which is cool by me. I'm just trying to explain since you seem totally new to this. Sometimes, one woman will be very butch and one will be very feminine, but it's often not so extreme.

If you already have a woman in mind and you can't figure out what role you vibe in, then you're not in a role. You're not with a role player or you'd know it. It's just like figuring out if a man is too macho or weak for you; it's the same intuition.

I hope I've helped in some way.

Lesbian feelings can surface at any stage of life. Congratulations to you that you have enough inner reflection to realize that in yourself. I think when you realize it, you have no choice but to be yourself and be happy!