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Originally Posted by Coffeesmurf  Very much so. I'm a (recovering) "nice guy" myself and have personally noticed some very unhelpful patterns. Like trying to always be there for my ex-girlfriend, who had troubles because of Borderline Personality Disorder, and not attending to my own needs. Even when she didn't want to continue the relationship, I still tried to be there for her. Important lesson: You can't fix people.. so don't try. Besides the obvious lesson: Keep away from girls with BPD  I think wanting to help people (excessively) is a common theme for "nice guys". |
I suppose most people want to be nice to others (esp. in my part of the world) it's just that you have to take care of yourself and not everyone can be a human charity..
I don't think you're the "nice guy" loser-type, just you've learnt lessons from experience.. like everyone does