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Originally Posted by ssandra  Longer version:
A guy who makes you feel beautiful is good.
A guy who makes you feel like a lobster about to be put in boiling hot water.. not so good. |
Exactly. There's a big difference between noticing a good looking woman and staring at them as if they're just a piece of meat. The reason why we feel uncomfortable is because we feel disrespected when the latter is the case. I don't feel offended if a man is noticing me and seems to find me attractive. That's just plain flattering. But when a man acts like the second described scenario, in the back of my mind I'm thinking "seriously, dude, grow up." That's my first mental response, followed by a feeling of disrespect and I just want him to look away already. So I guess we look like we're offended/uncomfortable because we just want to hint you to look away. (Edit: I guess we're thinking "ok, it's nice and all that you find me attractive, but that's enough. And with that attitude, you'd be the last guy I'd ever consider going out with. So, seriously, just move on.").
A different way to put it is this: if you're with your wife or girlfriend and notice another guy noticing her (and you can see he finds her attractive) but then he looks away, that's one thing. If you're with your wife or girlfriend and another guy is staring at her like he's ready to get in her pants, that's another thing altogether. See the difference? I know it's not an accurate explanation, but I just wanted to point out the distinction from another perspective.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MichaelMaxwell On the one hand, if you can't look at women whats the point of living? |
I hope you're being sarcastic there...
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And I'll add myself to the other female voices on boyfriends/husbands checking out other women: don't do that... and if you absolutely must, be very discrete (and I don't mean make sure she won't notice, but that the other woman doesn't notice it either. I always feel bad when a man is with his significant other and stares at me. A guy once hit a pile of products with his shopping cart in the grocery store because he was too busy checking me out. The wife was right behind him. I mean... how do you think she felt? I felt even worse.). But anyway, you guys checking other women out feels very disrespectful, unless you're both ok with it (talking about exclusive partners, traditional relationships here). I know some couples are, but for the most part, good luck finding a woman who will enjoy having her husband or boyfriend check other women out, whether she's there or not. Again, noticing is one thing. Checking out, looking top to bottom and enjoying the cleavage makes us wonder what exactly are we doing with you. Especially if you know it makes her uncomfortable. Respect is key here.