[Riddle]

Hi,

My current situation is that I'm in my final year of college, but I live at home and commute by car. The problem is that I used to enjoy socialising with the few friends that I had, and was also motivated to make conversation with other people, i.e. potential friends. Although I have never really had an active social life and prefer just staying home talking to my family or watching TV shows. However, after a very stressful year of working part time and doing my degree, I fell into a bad spell of depression and anxiety, which I have struggled with in the past.

I went to the psychiatrist and he thought that I might have an underlying condition, namely aspergers. He subcribed me antidepressants which are also an anxiolytic. They work and I feel better, but I still don't enjoy socialising. When I had the spell of depression I withdrew from people and became comfortable with my own company. And now I don't feel any motivation to talk to people unless I have to.

I feel no happiness when I see my old friends, and instead dread having to put on a persona. This makes me view socialising as a chore, because I don't get any enjoyment or even end up feeling worse for it. When I see old friends that I used to feel comfortable around, now I feel so pressured to put on a persona that nothing is wrong and act cheerful, it makes me experience a rush of anxiety even with the antidepressants, and I can barely manage a forced grimace/smile. Afterwards I feel like I have done something wrong and failed to act like a "normal" person. This makes me feel worse and reinforces my negative view of socialising.

Is there any advice to overcome this besides keep trying?