Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - Hi..I'm very shy, not social, somewhat scared of people

cacheborn · 10-27-2009, 06:36 PM

Hi improver,
RELAX!

you sound like a normal teenager. In fact you remind me much of how I was during my college days, socially awkward with no confidence. You do not sound like a girl. You are normal.
there are many ways to improve but remember that it is not going to happen overnight. You have spent 19 years in developing those habits, so it is going to take some time and hard work on your part to undo those habits.
Start small. Just saying hi to strangers, smiling at them. Then when you feel confident, start conversations. Read some posts about this in Steve's blog, he has written lot of excellent stuff on overcoming negative beliefs.
Also stop depending on others for approval. Some people will respond positively, others will not. If you let your emotions run away depending on how others treat you, you will be miserable.
You have taken the first step in opening up and asking for advice. Kudos to you. Now make a commitment to yourself and do it.
Good luck.

10-27-2009, 06:36 PM	#2 (permalink)
cacheborn Family Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 6,439	Hi improver, RELAX! you sound like a normal teenager. In fact you remind me much of how I was during my college days, socially awkward with no confidence. You do not sound like a girl. You are normal. there are many ways to improve but remember that it is not going to happen overnight. You have spent 19 years in developing those habits, so it is going to take some time and hard work on your part to undo those habits. Start small. Just saying hi to strangers, smiling at them. Then when you feel confident, start conversations. Read some posts about this in Steve's blog, he has written lot of excellent stuff on overcoming negative beliefs. Also stop depending on others for approval. Some people will respond positively, others will not. If you let your emotions run away depending on how others treat you, you will be miserable. You have taken the first step in opening up and asking for advice. Kudos to you. Now make a commitment to yourself and do it. Good luck.