[improver]

This is a site where I can tell my problems, right? I'm a guy, 19 years old. So, I will forget any restrictions, and say everything out loud. Matter of fact, I will even come out that I'm bi..which I've never done before. I'm always, most times shy to meet new people, talk to new people, etc. At college, I have made no friends at all. I tried to communicate with friends I felt comfortable talking to back in highschool through facebook, but I tend to back down, and not actually socialize with them. Sorry if I sound like I'm just going on and on, but I'm typing exactly what my thoughts are saying.. So this is what I think is a problem, I tend to care a lot about what others might think of me, and I also care a lot about others ( in the way that they might be bothered when I talk to them, or ask them stuff, etc, socialize.. ) Like for example, I see someone.. I want to ask them to borrow something, like a cellphone..my first thought would be that he or she would be reluctant to lend me one (for some reason,) but had to still because they wouldn't want to look rude. I think like that, even though possibly some might be willing to do whatever I asked of them, or asked them. Once again, sorry if I'm being confusing, as I'm typing right from my mind.
Also, I have low self-esteem..I used to be fat, so I lost some weight, it was hard..but after I lost weight and looked at my pictures, I kinda looked like a girl, and I felt weird; I didn't feel like myself. Maybe that's not how I look, I don't know, but I have low self esteem and lack self confidence in my physical image. I've been told I have an obsession with anything that reflects my image. I look at mirrors, etc, and sometimes see that I'm looking good, but sometimes I look at other mirrors/windows, and I look bad, so I feel down again. It's very weird, sort of like bipolar, only that it has to do with image. Some days I feel hyper and 'hot,' those days are rare, but some days, when I go to places, college, shopping, etc. I see other guys and compare them with myself..how are they so good-looking, have the great style they have, the friends they have, etc. That gets me feeling sad and depressed. I don't know if this is being paranoid or what, but sometimes, as I'm sitting in public places, such as the classroom, or the bus, and no one sits beside me, I feel that I'm being avoided by people, and that brings me a sense of sadness. For example, as I sit on the bus, and there's an empty seat beside me, and someone tries to find a seat, but there's the seat beside me and he or she doesn't sit there. I don't know if that's just me, or me being avoided. As I'm typing right now, I'm pretty much coming out on most of everything in my mind. I may not sound coherent, and I apologize for that. I know I have interests, things other 19 year olds might be interested in, such as videogames, traveling, making money, movies, etc. I just don't know what's wrong with me, if there's anything wrong with me. I WANT to make friends, but I'm scared to be myself.. I don't know why. I can't make friends that I hang out with. I've never really gone to the movies with friends, like how others do, etc. I've always been lonely, and I want to change. I think this lonliness is taking a big toll in my life, and I want to make myself improve as much as possible. First I lost some weight, that's a good step, I need to lose more, etc. But, I lack social skills, when I'm talking with people, I tend to talk very fast, maybe incoherently, even though I might be understood. Once I was told by someone that I'm way too polite, which might be a barrier between me and my socializing; as I already said, I care too much about what people think, and I have a sense of not wanting to 'bother' people, by socializing. I know it may sound weird, but there, I said it all.
Thank you so much for taking your time to read this long long ..I don't know..issues paragraphs haha. I hope you can help me, and make me IMPROVE, and become a SOCIAL person, FEEL GOOD about myself, etc. Thank you! Reply please, that would be awesome, and might even change my life and the way I live. Criticise me all you want, I want and like constructive criticism, which I think may be necessary for improvement. I will love you so much for replying ( laugh ). Please reply to help me, thanks.

PS : After you've read this and 'heard' my tone. Please honestly tell me if I sound like a girl or guy or weird? That's one of the things I'm also worried about. Like when talking to people in chat, I try to sound like a man, as much as possible, and not let a girl-tone come into the words I type. So what do I sound like? I am brave and ready to accept honest opinion. Thank you.