[AndrewDSteele]

Last school year I was able to think perfectly and very satisfactory to my wants. Now, I find it hard to dig through my memories, I find it harder to imagine situations and look at things from other point of views. And when I mean hard, its like lack of motivation. Except its worse. My mind is almost saying "Stop it. Don't do that." Draining me of my motivation to do something, and when I persevere and actually get to my memories, it is hard to complete the tasks that I want to accomplish because it feels like my mind is implying "Dammit... Your such a pain in the ass."


Now for part 2. I used to be able to induce this really great state of mind, where I would feel a rising of my gut, and it would be similar to what I describe bloodlust, but it is really great and exciting and allows me to open more emotions. This year, I am nearly completely impossible to impress, I barely laugh at anything, and on and on. It takes a hell of a lot more to induce a simple emotion. I am afraid that I am on a path to becoming a sociopath, which is not necessarily a terrible thing, but I think that the lack of these basic human emotions is also distorting my thought process, which I mentioned above. It started during the summer, but I figured that it was the lack of any mental challenges that brought it on and it would be better when school came around. Now I am two months into school and it has only gotten worse.

I need help guys. Please. I want to be able to think the way I used to, I want to be able to feel these emotions. Last year I took a standardized IQ test provided by my guidance counselor and scored a great score, and I doubt I could produce the same results now. I still do great on regular tests, but my mind is on a rapid descent down a path I do not want to take.

Also, I recovered from serious depression that I had last year. Could that be part of this? Ask any questions you need, at this point, I will do virtually anything to help fix this problem.