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Littletubesoftoothpaste · 10-26-2009, 10:04 PM

Sorry to hear about the divorce but glad if it makes you and Erin happier people.

I read your article "Too Good to Go, Too Bad to Stay" as I negotiate myself through a relationship/marriage minefield. I've always deep down questioned whether it is feasible/practical to expect that two people can live out their lives happily together, especially if they get married at a young age - which I did. I feel I've changed and my husband has not. I want different things for my life daily and long term and I do not believe that together we can make that happen. However, I'm also acutely aware that I will never meet anyone with whom I'm as compatible or who loves me more deeply than he. But I find myself sexually attracted to other men all the time and feel that I can no longer continue to be married when my mind heart and sometimes body is elsewhere. Years ago, sensing perhaps this need in me, I broached the notion of an open marriage with my partner who poohpoohed it - he being a devoutly religious person. And yet perhaps I can sense from your article that even going outside of a marriage for sexual and spiritual fulfillment is not necessarily a solution for a flawed relationship and perhaps can even spur it to an end. (I've seen this also with my gay friends who've experimented with outside partners).
Anyway I will continue to read your blog and see how life without marriage works and whether ultimately being good friends (in my own case) can be enough to keep a relationship afloat.
Peace.

10-26-2009, 10:04 PM	#147 (permalink)
Littletubesoftoothpaste Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 1	Divorce Sorry to hear about the divorce but glad if it makes you and Erin happier people. I read your article "Too Good to Go, Too Bad to Stay" as I negotiate myself through a relationship/marriage minefield. I've always deep down questioned whether it is feasible/practical to expect that two people can live out their lives happily together, especially if they get married at a young age - which I did. I feel I've changed and my husband has not. I want different things for my life daily and long term and I do not believe that together we can make that happen. However, I'm also acutely aware that I will never meet anyone with whom I'm as compatible or who loves me more deeply than he. But I find myself sexually attracted to other men all the time and feel that I can no longer continue to be married when my mind heart and sometimes body is elsewhere. Years ago, sensing perhaps this need in me, I broached the notion of an open marriage with my partner who poohpoohed it - he being a devoutly religious person. And yet perhaps I can sense from your article that even going outside of a marriage for sexual and spiritual fulfillment is not necessarily a solution for a flawed relationship and perhaps can even spur it to an end. (I've seen this also with my gay friends who've experimented with outside partners). Anyway I will continue to read your blog and see how life without marriage works and whether ultimately being good friends (in my own case) can be enough to keep a relationship afloat. Peace.