@BitterFlower: maybe i need to clarify. i was not saying that my bisexual tendencies make me confused. i was saying that i feel like i could be mostly homosexual but i have a genuine, non-socially-triggered confusion about it. from your post it seems i needed to clarify, and i hope my attempt to show the distinction is clear.
also i used to think as you do about relationships. i did not see myself willing to have a relationship with a female because, as someone who's had mostly male friends, i just did not think i could want or handle the extra drama (i used to say girls were too crazy to date). but i realized that is a massive assumption and judgment on my part (and i am not assuming your own reasons are similar to mine). if i am a relatively low-drama female, laid back, down to earth etc. etc. then there are other females who are allergic to the drama queendom as well.
thanks for going out on a limb. i sense you had some hesitation to use any labels, so i appreciate that you chose to respond.
@SomeRandomGuy: i agree with what you're saying about attraction. in the past, the women i fooled around with were chosen because i was actually interested in them as individuals, not because they were women and i wanted to do the trendy (at that point) same-sex exploration. i also agree with you about the social pressures, but i do think there is to an extent less pressure for women. i guess maybe it's because so many men (in a social structure that was originally founded with a male hierarchy) have a fantasy about two women. i don't want to speculate, but i do think women in same-sex unions tend to be better tolerated overall. thank you for your post as well.
i realize i should not let society dictate how i define myself, nor would i want to when i can help it. maybe a part of this is being raised to value mainstream ideals, but i'm doing my best to set that completely aside to figure out where i really stand. the issue here is not really about being bisexual, it's more about thinking i might actually be a lesbian who didn't realize it before. so i am wondering more about how to sort that out by myself before i visit the local same-sex hangout.
as i write about this, i am having a tendency to think, if this is a question in my mind, it is also the answer - if i am wondering whether or not i am more gay than straight, i probably am. but i was still hoping for others' perspectives here. less about social stigma and labels, more about how to get clear about where i stand. it's not that i don't appreciate the responses, because i definitely do. i just figure if i clarify what i'm asking for it may help.
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