thank you all. not only have you all been a great help. but i discovered about a million things in one night hahah. I dont have much time to type because im heading out but i have found one thing. ENTHUSIASM. i read 10 reasons not to get a job and living consciously through the links on these pages. pretty much an answer to all my prayers. it was great. i love the you can live like a mouse or live like a man attitude. pretty much everything you all said is a help. im just really excited right now. im ready to take charge and live for myself instead of trying to follow. ill talk to you all more later.