wow..illkarma...
yeah, determing your life purpose is a hard thing, even painful I'd say, at least it was for me... I have always wondered if all these people around who do the same thing everyday ("work-bar-tv") they look pretty happy, but are they? they seem to not struggle with all this life purpose stuff, they just live.. but I have also discovered that I'll never be like them, I know there is so much more out there, adventures, new experiences, growing, etc.. it takes courage, yes..
I started reading articles and books and forums on Personal Development about 6 months ago and I think only now I'm getting clear about how it works.. I had no idea what I wanted and therefore how to get it, but I had this big and burning desire inside of doing smth and going somewhere, I felt really stuck at where I was and I still am, but now I know that I'm going somewhere..
Why don't you make a list of 10 things you really enjoy doing, this should give you a direction of where to go..
and try to not feel like a victim, it's all in your hands, it's for you to decide what makes you happy and bring it into your life... I was waiting for it to come from "somewhere" and be like "this is your life purpose, now do this and this".. ha, didnt work, I'm still going though a painful process of figuring it out..
so meditate, go to the forest and cry out loud there, stare at the ceiling, make lists of things that make you feel good - do whatever you have to do to discover your "life purpose", but just don't be willing to accept an orninary life
