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MementoMori · 02-21-2007, 03:17 AM

This question resonates. You described the situation very well. I've wrestled with this issue and only recently realized what's been going on for so long.

I'd nearly driven myself insane, worrying over every word I spoke, replaying conversations and critiqueing myself. "Oh, I hope she didn't think I meant _______!" "Oh, that sounded stupid!" (Etcetera) All self-imposed btw, my DH is a very good, patient soul.

A dear, wise friend (who is one of those people you're certain doesn't live to please others) told me something so brilliantly simple: stop caring

Silly as it might seem, I've developed this mantra: I don't care. So. Be out of my thoughts now.

I vary it a bit to spice it up.

THEN, I immediately FORCE myself to stop thinking about whatever it was. Immediately place something benign in its stead. Dinner menu, for instance. Anything else until the urge to worry over pleasing someone/what someone thinks of me, is gone.

(Reading all that sounds kind of funny out of context. Don't please anybody!Try hard not to! LOL)

I've felt much better since I've begun to work on/do this.

Hope this helps. If it doesn't, that's YOUR problem! LOL (kiddin')

02-21-2007, 03:17 AM	#8 (permalink)
MementoMori Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 5	This question resonates. You described the situation very well. I've wrestled with this issue and only recently realized what's been going on for so long. I'd nearly driven myself insane, worrying over every word I spoke, replaying conversations and critiqueing myself. "Oh, I hope she didn't think I meant _______!" "Oh, that sounded stupid!" (Etcetera) All self-imposed btw, my DH is a very good, patient soul. A dear, wise friend (who is one of those people you're certain doesn't live to please others) told me something so brilliantly simple: stop caring Silly as it might seem, I've developed this mantra: I don't care. So. Be out of my thoughts now. I vary it a bit to spice it up. THEN, I immediately FORCE myself to stop thinking about whatever it was. Immediately place something benign in its stead. Dinner menu, for instance. Anything else until the urge to worry over pleasing someone/what someone thinks of me, is gone. (Reading all that sounds kind of funny out of context. Don't please anybody!Try hard not to! LOL) I've felt much better since I've begun to work on/do this. Hope this helps. If it doesn't, that's YOUR problem! LOL (kiddin') Last edited by MementoMori; 02-21-2007 at 03:21 AM.