Quote:
Originally Posted by spirit4711  I'll respond to this part first, and maybe the other parts later.
Many women object to their partner being in lust with other women. From a simple look at another woman to honesly acknowledging 'Gosh, I really wonder how it would be to have sex with her', sharing his sexual fantasies about other women, it usually is 'not done'. Why? It has to do with silly rules of 'being faithful' to insecurity 'he doesn't love me anymore'. Or even ownership 'you belong to ME now, don't you DARE look at somebody else!!!'.
Let alone if a men has sex with another woman. Usually hell breaks loose. In my opinion many men would like to have sex with another woman but still love their partner and want to continue the relationship. For women it seems different, because they seem to equate sex and love much more than men.
Sure, it's wise if a couple has rules or agreements about what is or is not acceptable for them. The problem though is that most couples (at least that I know) don't have very explicit rules when they start a relationship. Each partner has his/her own set of rules. The pink cloud of being in love is more interesting than getting clear on eachothers' rules.
Anyway, the above is what I've experienced myself and observed in other couples.
I'm very interested in women's point of view re jealousy, being in lust (themselves and / or their partner). So shoot, ladies!
@rei: thanks for starting this topic! Great idea! |
you're welcome, glad it's appreciated.
as far as screwing around, that is something that both genders will do. sometimes it may be for different reasons perhaps. most women i know of personally who screw around, or used to, have self-esteem issues. and the general thinking is that men who do it are just wanting a physical connection, nothing more. but my thinking is there are nymphomaniacs from both genders (textbook nymphomaniacs don't really enjoy sex, they use it as a substitute for tenderness and affection).
i'd say sometimes a little mild (*mild*) jealousy is flattering. not possessiveness though. and not when it gets beyond mild. if a couple has been together for a good while, a lil bit of jealousy can be a reminder that your partner still finds you attractive. but when it mainly stems from insecurity, that's not really fun. wouldn't be for me anyway.
my ex and i would have conversations about whether a woman was attractive to us both. it was kinda fun, though a couple of times i found myself not really enjoying it, it was usually interesting. i think the issue here is insecurity. if the jealousy or the reaction to it comes from significant insecurity, that's unpleasant and the insecurity is probably a bigger problem than checking out someone else or getting jealous over it. at least, that's my own position. other women may view it differently.
as far as rules go, i wouldn't think checking out other women would be as big a deal at the start of a relationship. at that point, the monogamy hasn't really been decided, and usually both people are still on their best behavior so it seems most guys would resist the urge to have roaming eyes - or they would still have those feel good chemicals pumping and actually have no interest in looking at other women.