Quote:
Originally Posted by cylon  Well it's natural in the sense that humans agree to create the conditions that let it exist. It's just not a natural impulse, we didn't evolve to be monogamous, but to have many partners over our lifetimes, to ensure the survival of our species. That's why couples fall apart after a few years, it's just the natural twinge to move on. In the beginning, they want monogamy because that's how it works, they need to be attached to each other long enough to have a baby and make sure it's cared for. Once that cycle is complete (a few years) it's time to move on and repeat the process. And that's when couples start bickering and coming apart... nature is guiding them to move on and spread their genes around. It's just the way it is. Doesn't mean they need to split up, it just explains why gradually two people who were very close start to annoy the hell out of each other. "What went wrong? Is it me?" Those types of thoughts make people feel guilty and inadequate, when they are just guilty of being human.
My point is that if people accepted that that's why they fall out of love with each other, they won't blame the other person, won't ask "what did I do wrong" and won't think that somehow everyone else has it figured out, but they are faulty because their relationship isn't the perfect one they think it should be.
I think both men and women have unhealthy expectations about relationships. |
this is an excellent point. anybody who wants to have a successful long term monogamous relationship should be aware of their nature, and what they are up against.