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Scott Lipton · 10-22-2009, 04:29 PM

I've just started doing this too, with fantastic results.

ONE thing I'm doing different that I don't see anyone doing here is doing things on purpose that are socially WRONG or WEIRD.

All of y'alls tasks and goals involve "normal" and "socially correct" things. If you want to really get over social anxiety much faster, and realize that no one else's opinion of you has to affect you, you must get some experience doing socially INCORRECT things on purpose!

If you are afraid of a roller coaster, what's the best way to rid yourself of that fear? Ride a whole bunch of roller coasters! You can start small, but you have to face the thing you're afraid of.

What are we really afraid of if we have social anxiety? No so much the action of talking to strangers itself, but OTHER PEOPLE THINKING WE ARE WERID. Now, just talking to strangers or asking a girl on a date is actually a pretty normal thing for normal social people, maybe not for you personally in your current mindset, but if you talk to strangers well and ask a girl out in a cool fashion, most people will not actually think you're weird.

These NORMAL and PROPER social activities are actually much easier to do than things that GUARANTEE you weirdness and embarassment.

Example (one of my more advanced exercises) - Go to a grocery store, put your finger in your nose, keep it there, and walk around the store casually, staring at people constantly and attempt to start up five conversations. Bonus if you wear ratty clothes, look unshaven etc.

This is a situation where you are DEFINITELY going to look weird (don't try this at your usual grocery store, they might ban you if you get too out there), but guess what, if you can do THIS, then being normal and clean shaven and groomed and talking to a stranger is a PIECE OF CAKE. It's nothing, literally nothing, like breathing in and out.

When you try and strain to do "normal" things right all the time, you're trying to be correct too much, you're still trying ad afraid of failing. Be a crazy bastard for a month and you'll realize the world is no different from a video game. you can do whatever you want. Will write more later, gotta go.

10-22-2009, 04:29 PM	#101 (permalink)
Scott Lipton Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 8	I've just started doing this too, with fantastic results. ONE thing I'm doing different that I don't see anyone doing here is doing things on purpose that are socially WRONG or WEIRD. All of y'alls tasks and goals involve "normal" and "socially correct" things. If you want to really get over social anxiety much faster, and realize that no one else's opinion of you has to affect you, you must get some experience doing socially INCORRECT things on purpose! If you are afraid of a roller coaster, what's the best way to rid yourself of that fear? Ride a whole bunch of roller coasters! You can start small, but you have to face the thing you're afraid of. What are we really afraid of if we have social anxiety? No so much the action of talking to strangers itself, but OTHER PEOPLE THINKING WE ARE WERID. Now, just talking to strangers or asking a girl on a date is actually a pretty normal thing for normal social people, maybe not for you personally in your current mindset, but if you talk to strangers well and ask a girl out in a cool fashion, most people will not actually think you're weird. These NORMAL and PROPER social activities are actually much easier to do than things that GUARANTEE you weirdness and embarassment. Example (one of my more advanced exercises) - Go to a grocery store, put your finger in your nose, keep it there, and walk around the store casually, staring at people constantly and attempt to start up five conversations. Bonus if you wear ratty clothes, look unshaven etc. This is a situation where you are DEFINITELY going to look weird (don't try this at your usual grocery store, they might ban you if you get too out there), but guess what, if you can do THIS, then being normal and clean shaven and groomed and talking to a stranger is a PIECE OF CAKE. It's nothing, literally nothing, like breathing in and out. When you try and strain to do "normal" things right all the time, you're trying to be correct too much, you're still trying ad afraid of failing. Be a crazy bastard for a month and you'll realize the world is no different from a video game. you can do whatever you want. Will write more later, gotta go.