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Old 10-22-2009, 02:50 PM   #4 (permalink)
James81
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You're a man, dude. You have these very natural, very common, and very NORMAL urges to look at women. Deciding that those urges and those needs are offensive puts a damper on YOUR sexuality.

Here's the deal...in order for a woman to take offense at you checking her out SHE has to make a decision to take offense at it. What does that mean to you? It means that her taking offense at being checked out is a conscious decision that she makes. Or, if she continously makes the same decision to be offended over and over again, it no longer becomes conscious it becomes subconscious and a decision that gets put on autopilot. But even then, it STARTED with a conscious decision for her to be offended.

Notice something about that? You were nowhere in that last paragraph. It means that it's not your problem if she gets offended at you checking her out.

The only thing you need to realize is that there is a time and a place. There are situations where you need to control yourself a bit simply out of respect for the situation. For example, staring at a woman's chest at work is something that could get you sexual harassment charges. Try to be discreet about it in those situations. Another good situation is if you are out with your girlfriend/wife it's kind of rude to blatantly be staring at the women around you.

IMO, you should embrace your sexuality. Checking a woman out is a compliment. It's not your fault that she sees otherwise. And it's not your responsibility to try and make the women of the world feel more comfortable. That's the most ridiculous notion ever perpetuated in our society. Each one of us is responsible for our own level of comfort and what we can accept. Women are no different.

I think if you do with with discretion (in inappropriate situations) and tact (in all other situations), then you shouldn't worry about it. You're a man. Men like to like at attractive women. Don't make that out to be anything less than a beautiful, natural urge.
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