I like your take on things because you see that people, internally whole people, are a complex web of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. We are defined by our motives but our motives cannot be easily discerned by our actions. A problem facing many people who take polarity seriously is that it lends itself to cartoonish depictions of its ideal. That does not reflect an accurate understanding of it but it's easy to make that mistake based on what Steve has said. (Among other sources)
From what I have observed, it seems toothless service toward others results from excessive self-focus. People like that are really self-conscious and that bleeds into every aspect of their lives. You can't be self-conscious without being obsessed with yourself. It's the opposite of narcissism yet it's fundamentally the same.
Speaking of opposites, it should be noted that if altruism is a lie, so is total disconnection. We all live within a giant web of cause and effect. None of us exists inside of a bubble. You can't shut out the world anymore than a banana can grow without a tree. I think altruism exists in the sense that you can dedicate yourself to serving others while still acknowledging your right to exist. The latter is secondary, but it's an important modification. Of course you can also dedicate yourself to... yourself, while keeping others in your peripheral vision. If you want to attain sustainable personal power it is a choice of focus, not which part of yourself you want to lobotomize. Both light and dark take on a myriad of forms and to declare that either is inherently egotistical or destructive is ignorance.
|