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aggie · 10-21-2009, 02:02 AM

i am a bit older than you, on my second marriage with a bad engagement in between.

i think this is something that happens to a lot of people...i don't know, maybe women more than men.

you may love him more than you realize...more than you are ABLE to realize...i think love, for some, transcends all that stuff that is important to others...like physical attention, nuturing, .....SEX...

it stems from a desire to be a partner in life with someone, to share a life, to not be alone...but if you have ever been alone, even under less than optimal circumstances and KNOW you could survive again....you wonder sometimes.

i know from myself, it comes from some passions i have in my life...and i have said before, sometimes following a particular passion completely can or needs to be a solitary thing...so we either sacrifice the interaction with people, with a "mate" and follow it, or we compromise and do what we can within the boundaries of a relationship or marriage or committment to someone.

i do not know if i am articulating very well; i love my husband very much and after nine years, in the face of many obstacles and adversities our relationship is mutually very strong....but i really DO understand what you are feeling. we all have to find a way to adapt and accept things we cannot change, as you have found with your pregnancy, and find some peace with it and make it work for us. the alternative is a drastic change where one walks away and begins anew alone....and in your case, with some responsibility to your children.

nothing is impossible...you just need to think things through and decide what you really want.

i wish you luck.

10-21-2009, 02:02 AM	#2 (permalink)
aggie Family Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 2,235	i am a bit older than you, on my second marriage with a bad engagement in between. i think this is something that happens to a lot of people...i don't know, maybe women more than men. you may love him more than you realize...more than you are ABLE to realize...i think love, for some, transcends all that stuff that is important to others...like physical attention, nuturing, .....SEX... it stems from a desire to be a partner in life with someone, to share a life, to not be alone...but if you have ever been alone, even under less than optimal circumstances and KNOW you could survive again....you wonder sometimes. i know from myself, it comes from some passions i have in my life...and i have said before, sometimes following a particular passion completely can or needs to be a solitary thing...so we either sacrifice the interaction with people, with a "mate" and follow it, or we compromise and do what we can within the boundaries of a relationship or marriage or committment to someone. i do not know if i am articulating very well; i love my husband very much and after nine years, in the face of many obstacles and adversities our relationship is mutually very strong....but i really DO understand what you are feeling. we all have to find a way to adapt and accept things we cannot change, as you have found with your pregnancy, and find some peace with it and make it work for us. the alternative is a drastic change where one walks away and begins anew alone....and in your case, with some responsibility to your children. nothing is impossible...you just need to think things through and decide what you really want. i wish you luck.