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Bamboo Moon · 10-21-2009, 12:41 AM

I know this is probably a question only I can really answer for myself, but I find myself wondering what it means to love someone. I have been with my husband for 13 years (since I was 22) and I get the sense that he loves me more than I love him. He's a good man, and we don't fight much, but when we do I feel like I just want him out of my life. He seems. . . weak. Both of us have had issues with depression in the past, but I feel like I am doing much more to manage my predisposition to it and to change myself for the better. But I don't want to change myself for him.

He wants intimacy, affection, (sexual and otherwise) and says he feels like a roommate, that I don't really need him. And in way, I don't. I know if I was on my own, I would survive. And I'm not afraid to be alone. What I am afraid of is to be someone's nursemaid. Yet I have also been trying to figure out my career path and I want that to be for the greater good--why do I have more compassion for strangers than the man I married?

I'm not going anywhere for awhile, I'm pregnant and have a child already. But new baby aside, I don't want to be with someone for another 10 years if the relationship doesn't have the potential to be a 10. And I wrestle with thoughts of "Am I an arrogant ♥♥♥♥♥?" because he thinks I don't care about him. He has said that if I loved him, I would rub his back and want sex more. And I am tired, so tired, of him feeling lonely and unloved and doing nothing about it except to tell me so.

10-21-2009, 12:41 AM	#1 (permalink)
Bamboo Moon Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Midwest, USA Posts: 8	What does it mean to love someone? I know this is probably a question only I can really answer for myself, but I find myself wondering what it means to love someone. I have been with my husband for 13 years (since I was 22) and I get the sense that he loves me more than I love him. He's a good man, and we don't fight much, but when we do I feel like I just want him out of my life. He seems. . . weak. Both of us have had issues with depression in the past, but I feel like I am doing much more to manage my predisposition to it and to change myself for the better. But I don't want to change myself for him. He wants intimacy, affection, (sexual and otherwise) and says he feels like a roommate, that I don't really need him. And in way, I don't. I know if I was on my own, I would survive. And I'm not afraid to be alone. What I am afraid of is to be someone's nursemaid. Yet I have also been trying to figure out my career path and I want that to be for the greater good--why do I have more compassion for strangers than the man I married? I'm not going anywhere for awhile, I'm pregnant and have a child already. But new baby aside, I don't want to be with someone for another 10 years if the relationship doesn't have the potential to be a 10. And I wrestle with thoughts of "Am I an arrogant ♥♥♥♥♥?" because he thinks I don't care about him. He has said that if I loved him, I would rub his back and want sex more. And I am tired, so tired, of him feeling lonely and unloved and doing nothing about it except to tell me so.