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elle8 · 10-20-2009, 02:58 AM

I just finished the book (busting loose) last saturday...boy I didn't realize how many negative or untrue thoughts pop into my head each day...I feel like I have been enacting the "process" all day long.

Anyway, the words in the book really resonated with me. I originally got introduced to the concept that this physical world is an "illusion" in "A Course in Miracles". Later, after reading Ruiz's "Four Agreements", I started reading up on Toltec Wisdom, which espouses the same thing. However, it wasn't until reading BL that I really got it (or maybe it just took me this long to not be so attached to my "ego").

Anyway, in the last couple of days, a couple of unusual things have happened. The first one is just a little bit unusual. I went to church with my boyfriend the day after finishing the book and the name of the service was "U got GAME"...he then in the sermon said the most important thing in the sermon was the spark of the divine in each of us (our true self). The second thing was more unusual. Today, my cat started acting upset, and when I checked on her there was water, just like tears, running down her face. I got upset of course, then immediately did the process. Then my second cat's eyes started to well up and one drop of water ran down her face, which she somehow flicked on me just to make sure that I knew I wasn't imagining it. Once again I did the process. Then right after this, poof, both of them stopped. This is after the first one had it happening for a solid half hour. Still too soon to be sure, but it makes me wonder if this is an example of the weird stuff Scheinfeld talks about in Phase II.

Anyway, here is what I would love to talk with you guys about...first of all, I am really struggling with how to embrace this belief system and, at the same time, find value in my various relationships. It feels very lonely out here all on my "own".

Secondarily, I am having a difficult time even conducting regular conversations with my friends. I find myself constantly worrying that I am going to engage in limiting behavior. For example, if a friend has a pet die, my natural reaction is to give her empathy. However, then I worry that this attitude will mean that I am judging this event as bad, getting sucked into believing it is real, etc. On the other hand, if I maintain the belief through out the whole conversation that it isn't real, then I feel like I am an actor reciting mere lines. Needless to say, this is very hard on me. Does anyone have any suggestions?

On a positive note, I am absolutely amazed at how in such a short time, my hate of my boyfriends ex wife just seems to have disappeared over night. And insecurities that I normally would have kept from my boyfriend, I just felt like sharing (almost like they weren't such a big deal anymore).

I can definitely see how living this way would be so freeing, even if all the other stuff doesn't happen. However, I would really like that to happen too

However, I could really use some help with the transition of it all.

Thanks.

10-20-2009, 02:58 AM	#28 (permalink)
elle8 Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: I live in the NW (USA) Posts: 1	I'd love to talk with some of you using the process I just finished the book (busting loose) last saturday...boy I didn't realize how many negative or untrue thoughts pop into my head each day...I feel like I have been enacting the "process" all day long. Anyway, the words in the book really resonated with me. I originally got introduced to the concept that this physical world is an "illusion" in "A Course in Miracles". Later, after reading Ruiz's "Four Agreements", I started reading up on Toltec Wisdom, which espouses the same thing. However, it wasn't until reading BL that I really got it (or maybe it just took me this long to not be so attached to my "ego"). Anyway, in the last couple of days, a couple of unusual things have happened. The first one is just a little bit unusual. I went to church with my boyfriend the day after finishing the book and the name of the service was "U got GAME"...he then in the sermon said the most important thing in the sermon was the spark of the divine in each of us (our true self). The second thing was more unusual. Today, my cat started acting upset, and when I checked on her there was water, just like tears, running down her face. I got upset of course, then immediately did the process. Then my second cat's eyes started to well up and one drop of water ran down her face, which she somehow flicked on me just to make sure that I knew I wasn't imagining it. Once again I did the process. Then right after this, poof, both of them stopped. This is after the first one had it happening for a solid half hour. Still too soon to be sure, but it makes me wonder if this is an example of the weird stuff Scheinfeld talks about in Phase II. Anyway, here is what I would love to talk with you guys about...first of all, I am really struggling with how to embrace this belief system and, at the same time, find value in my various relationships. It feels very lonely out here all on my "own". Secondarily, I am having a difficult time even conducting regular conversations with my friends. I find myself constantly worrying that I am going to engage in limiting behavior. For example, if a friend has a pet die, my natural reaction is to give her empathy. However, then I worry that this attitude will mean that I am judging this event as bad, getting sucked into believing it is real, etc. On the other hand, if I maintain the belief through out the whole conversation that it isn't real, then I feel like I am an actor reciting mere lines. Needless to say, this is very hard on me. Does anyone have any suggestions? On a positive note, I am absolutely amazed at how in such a short time, my hate of my boyfriends ex wife just seems to have disappeared over night. And insecurities that I normally would have kept from my boyfriend, I just felt like sharing (almost like they weren't such a big deal anymore). I can definitely see how living this way would be so freeing, even if all the other stuff doesn't happen. However, I would really like that to happen too However, I could really use some help with the transition of it all. Thanks.