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knowledge is derived from meditation practice and developed psychic perception, in observation of the actual way karma is worked out
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And here I thought this all depended on the individual filter of consciousness and limiting beliefs of the entities involved.
Anyway...if she feels it is the right thing to do to have a child and thus open a chance for her grandmother to incarnate, then I am sure it will happen that way. If she doesn't feel it is right...I would assume any spirit that goes beyond the attribute of "petty" would not try to impose on that and find someplace else. After all, time is not perceived the same way "up there" that it is down here, and a generation more or less isn't that big of a deal.
Or am I understanding something fundamentally wrong here?
Your posts don't really sound anything like what my own intuition says about the spirit world. They sound more like you're trying to bully her into a decision she might not be ready to make. Even though she asked.
I may not have your amount of education about spiritual matters, but nevertheless...it feels madly wrong.