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Originally Posted by elliot  I went on a bit of a rant there. Didn't leave a whole lot left for people to really comment on. I'm trying to focus on getting out of debt right now. At least get the car paid off. I owe about $8900 right now, just wrote two checks out for 1500 and 500. Then comes the 41k of student loan debt... What do you think my action plan should be? |
I'm gay so I understand your plight. I left home at age 18 to go away to college and never came back. I told my parents I was gay over the phone from a distance 2500 miles away from home. They eventually got over it--were probably better than a lot of people would have been.
You are right. You are 26 being treated like a 16 year old. Gay or not, it's time for you to find a new place to live.
One possibility might be looking for a roommate situation to keep your rent low. Just make sure the roommates are gay or gay friendly. Gay or gay friendly roommates in your age range might provide for a really nice social network.
As far as the debt thing goes, you might consider finding a 2nd job (I know, hard to do right now) or finding some kind of way to make extra money on the side so that you can pay off the debt sooner.
Are you watching your expenses? Most people spend about 20% more than they think they do. If you're really motivated to get out, track your expenses every day for a month and see how much you spend. I bet you'll be surprised at how much you can blow on small amounts over the course of a month.
What it really comes down to is this.....how bad do you want your independence/freedom? You're stuck with 2 kinds of bondage right now. You've got the social aspect of being gay and still living with an unaccepting parent. And then you've got the financial aspect of being in debt over your eyeballs. I would say you should probably at least pay off the car before you move out, if you can do that within the next year. But I would not wait longer than 1 year.
I also recommend a really good book on money and career management called
The Difference by Jean Chatzky. This woman did research on the traits of well off and rich people and narrowed it down 20 traits that the "financially comfortable" and "rich" people have. The more of the traits the people studied had, the more likely you were to be "financially comfortable" or "rich". She really hones in on the essentials and shows the beaviors/attitudes that got people out of what she calls the "paycheck to paycheck" and "further in debt" categories into the "financially comfortable" and "rich" categories. Unfortunately, almost 70% of Americans fit into the bottom 2 categories, although she says it's usually not because of inadequate income.
The book is an easy read and is one of those books you can dip into again and again. She provides quite a few good psychological strategies to help you adopt more positive behaviors/attitudes. The other good thing about the book is that the traits promoted that lead to financial and career success also lead to satisfaction in other areas of life as well.
Here's the link. Best of luck and feel free to email me if you have any questions or need support:
Amazon.com: The Difference: How Anyone Can Prosper in Even The Toughest Times (9780307407139): Jean Chatzky: Books