Quote:
Originally Posted by Brutha  You feeling bad about not having experience probably much more decreases your chances than the fact that you share with here the truth.
It's not the content that matters but the emotions. |
I agree to a certain degree.
I told her I didn't have experience with a longer relationship due to circumstances and not finding the right girl, not because I had commitment issues or didn't want to be in a long term relationship - which I felt was her concern and her reason for asking me about it. She accepted the answer and said that not having found someone you wanted to be with long term was an honest thing, since it wasn't really something you could control. But that she did think having had a longer relationship gave you an invaluable experience.
I have heard numerous times from girls I know or have met that having had a long term relationship and having lived with a partner is very important factor to them - to the extent that they won't enter into a relationship with someone without that experience. I know not all girls are like that, but it is important for many.. maybe that's what makes it difficult for me.
I would like to be 100% honest and tell her the whole story - but if I had done so on our second date yesterday and said: "Look, I lived my life on autopilot after a very rough childhood with abuse, neglegt and alcoholism in most of my family. I was pretty overweight and extremely shy until I got cancer at 27 and changed my life around and haven't had a relationship at all until earlier this year" - then I doubt there would have been a third date.
The first couple of dates are supposed to be fun and the
last thing I want is pity or to kill the attraction.. and I'm having a hard time seeing how I could deliver that story with postive emotion. I take responsibility for my life and the way it has turned out.. but I don't want to share my entire life story with her just yet
