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Originally Posted by blossom  I've only stayed as a guest at a commune, and it was beautiful and functional and I'm so glad I had the experience, but I agree with Cran...it isn't all everyone understanding each other, and unless you can pick the people you want to form one with...basically it's like shared living, getting to know complete strangers, and seeing all their issues eventually and your own...I lived with two people recently who had lived in communes, and they totally expected me to conform to their way of doing things without even communicating with me about it, and then treated me like I was mean for wanting to have a bowl of fruit in my room just for me...like I HAD to share everything or else I was selfish and narcissistic. There was no room for discussion of what each of us want ti to be like, and I think it's important to establish good communication from the start and commit to that as part of respectful living...otherwise it can all turn very ugly, VERY quickly.
I agree it's all good in theory, but realistically there will always be people who don't pull their weight which causes resentment with the ones who do. I'm introverted also, so I like my space, and don't want to feel like I HAVE to always be around other people. In a commune, you're expected to want to hang out with your ' family' 24/7. Also, some of the hippy males can be pretty assuming that because you're there that you will have sex with them...but that's a boundary issue, and I'm sure it isn't a problem in all communes. There are actually quite a few around, but they are out in the mountains and the forest all over the place, and you pretty much have to hear about them through word of mouth from ex or current communers. |
lol I am glad you brought that up about the hippy guys because a few that i've seen looked like they could have been pretty creepy but I didn't know if it was just me or what.
I guess what I'm trying to get at (regarding the "understanding each other" part) is just the like-mindedness. I would give almost anything to know someone IN PERSON who is like me. I honestly feel like an alien in my own surroundings. I can't even relate to my friends and family much anymore because I'm so different. And the reasons why they make communes is so these people that are different have somewhere to live amongst like minded people.
But I couldn't be in that close quarters with everyone though, not 24/7. I'm really glad I started this thread because the insight from those who have done it is priceless. Thanks for all your replies, everyone!