[celestialife]

At least the house is starting to get cleaned up. Got some laundry done, cleaned up the kitchen, picked up the trash, but its been harder than I thought to actually clean up this energy sucking demon that is (used to be) my apartment. Made some pretty good headway though and I'll have it done by tonight. I think the trick is learning how to enjoy keeping tidy, to transmute from looking at it as work to, at least, something productive that will have bigger rewards than just a shiny floor and lemoney fresh scent. If I'm to get anywhere on this transformation, a clean place is an absolute must.

So this is day three of my darkworker transformation. Today has been a bit of a hectic day, at least its turned out that way. I've actually learned a lot in the past day and a half since my last post and have come to understand even more what it means to be a darkworker. My polarization is rock-solid, and I know that there is a whole world of opportunity in my grasp. The biggest challenge I've had came just a few hours ago, where my girlfriend and I broke up. She and I have never brought out the best in each other and any person could have seen this coming (its been a downward spiral for a while now). Anyway, I saw no personal benefit to us continuing the relationship and it feels right that we're no longer in each others' lives. My biggest fear with losing her as someone important in my life was that I would be alone, but better to be alone than with someone who makes you miserable.

Its been easier than I anticipated to get into a good physical routine. My chest is sore, my thighs are still burning from running, and I'm worn out, but it couldn't feel better. My workout schedule is complete, which I plan to maintain until maintenance is no longer necessary. I found a great strength-training routine (3-day) from Men's Health which is easy for me to do since I work at a gym anyway (I know). Not to mention the equipment I have at home.

Day 1: four-mile run, strength training
Day 2: fartlek training, push-ups, pull-ups
Day 3: four-mile run, strength training
Day 4: fartlek training, push-ups, pull-ups
Day 5: four-mile run, strength training
Day 6: fartlek training, push-ups, pull-ups
Day 7: rest

Since I'm starting with the physical aspect of this transformation first, I know I can't limit myself to just working out. First of all I need to quit smoking cigarettes. Terrible. I've been doing some visualization exercises where I'm offered a cigarette and I tell the individual no, I don't smoke. I've only done it a few times, but my aversion to smoking cigarettes is starting to take hold. As it stands I smoke a pack a day - approx. 140 cigarettes/week. I'll keep it updated so you can track my progress. Also, my diet needs a gut-check. Its hard to maintain a healthy one when money is tight, but there are ways around it and I can save the money from my Taco Bell habit to spend on groceries. I'm a pretty big fan of the Abs Diet so I'll stick to that regimen.

Immediate Goals:
1. Finish cleaning up apartment
2. Create vision board
3. Meditation

Short Term Goals:
1. Maintain clean apartment
2. Maintain workout schedule
3. Quit smoking
4. Go grocery shopping.
5. Create daily schedule

Overall I'm off to a good start. Once my living space is clean and arranged how I want I'll feel tons better. I forgot how nice it feels to have a good workout in during the day - it must be those endorphins doing their good work. More tomorrow.

celestialife