Ah sorry, my misunderstanding, then.
As for being "emotionally up to it"...what is there to lose...and what possibly to gain?
Was your relationship that bad when he was alive? Much more reason to clear things up and get them out of the way.
If he is indeed contacting you, then he feels there is something you need to hear/feel/know. It may not be what you want to hear, but it will very likely be something you NEED to hear in order to grow/live happier.
I've come to see the deaths, even of loved ones, a little bit differently than I saw them as a teenager. Now I see them as simply being "out of touch" in a more remote way than if they moved away. I know they're still there, somewhere. If you grieved a lot for your father, you may fear opening up these old wounds, but sometimes you need to in order for it to heal "the proper way".
I dare you to dare.
