I used to have some pretty strong abandonment issues.. to say the least..About a year ago I broke free. I cannot tell you exactly what I did, because it was a combination of a lot of things. What I can tell you is this.. The feeling that you will be abandoned can seem like life or death.. and can give you major panic attacks everytime it surfaces. The truth of the matter though is that the only one who can abandon you now is you...People come and people go, and if they do not want to be in your life, why would you want them to be in your life? The number one tool that I have learned to use that effectively removes abandonment from the table is good communication.If you are attracting people who will "abandon you" take that as a sign that there is something that needs to be healed. I was dating a woman at the time of my great healing who touched every button so I thought.. truth is I was abandoning myself and giving my power away and not being true to myself.. the issues that I had had nothing to do with her, and when we broke up it touched my buttons, but I forgave her instantly for her behavior that pressed my buttons.. I told her about it the last time we talked on that level and it was so relieving to be able to tell her all that stuff. When I forgave her I forgave everybody else that ever abandoned me especially myself... I have had very little in the way of fear of abandonment since then.. and even when I have it it lasts for only a short while.. I know you can reach a state of healing this and have a healthy relationship as a result.. Never give up...Feel free to PM me if you have further questions.. G
|