Oh yeah I definitely have done that sabotage in past. With a serious relationship before my ex husband then with him. This recent relationship I let it happen again in some sorts only he didn't put up with the little tiny worry I had compared to obsessive thoughts of it in the past 2 relationships. With my ex husband I actually had recurring dreams about him cheating. I purposefully left 2 years between marriage ending and this relationship to heal only to confess that I was worried about his communications with a woman from myspace. He said no worries I believed him and in a couple days time I was good but then he started becoming distant. And I knew he had spoke to his best friend on it. Who I know from a conversation has a girl that is very much like me and keeps dibs on him because he asked me if I had a gps on him jokingly. I guess the healing of past relationship wasn't enough and because the ex husband and I have child things are "friendly" but now I realize the healing is gonna take more than 2 years from relationship. I'm afraid to end up alone my whole life like my mother.
I like the leave a bag with each stop. But I feel like I've hurt 2 people and now I'm sure this guy hurting too. We talk everyday still and pretty much best of friends still, as hard as that is for me(gets easier everyday). I don't want to be causing anyone any pain.
Yep life goes on. I usually has a way of working out.