This one's for Angela...
I experienced significant shifts during the workshop. I came home in a daze and slept a lot, then got sick with a cold. This is all part of trying to "catch up" to who I became in the workshop. At the end, right before I left for the airport, I became aware that I would have to make some specific, difficult changes in order to become more of the person I am in my heart. I'm not ready to talk about that publicly yet, but rest assured that things are changing over here.
Being on stage was a great experience for me. Meeting others was a great experience for me. Being able to have the full support of an entire room while processing the diagnosis that just got handed to me in the form of a lab result was incredible. And knowing that my story was inspiring to others really helped me understand where to go in the future.
I'm still grappling with truly enjoying and resonating with who I am vs. sometimes having a fear-based reaction that I talk about myself too much or that people will see me as self-absorbed. My heart believes it would be far more self-absorbed to hold my story in and not share it with others. The reality is that occasionally I am going to get blasted for this by others. One of the shifts I have to make is being okay with that -- and becoming more radically transparent through my blog, etc. Living a life in public means being okay with those who want to build themselves up by tearing you down, or those who feel a similar need to express themselves and envy someone who can.
By the end of the workshop, I was able to see a clear, articulate vision of exactly what I wanted to be doing in the future -- not just public speaking, but being aware of the shifts I could make in the audience by being on stage. This is the first time I have been able to see this. My next goal is to break through some of my own barriers and limitations to ensure I am ready to take my "new" life on and really start helping others.
-Erica
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