Quote:
Originally Posted by Celeste de Kai  The whiners are those that are constantly in a bad mood. Which isn't nearly as bad as the second group, but after a while hearing phrases like "life is ****" and "my weekend sucked" can really get to you. I tried responding to it by cheering them up, or telling them that life is awesome, but they either start arguing over it trying to convince me that I'm wrong or assume a moral high ground and tell me that I just haven't seen "the darker side of life" (wtf?) |
LOL this sounds so much like my parents... they claim I am not a racist yet because I donīt have their experience in live yet
I usually try to discuss it with them, but that is because I enjoy it.
Whenever I do not want to discuss it, i just say "Hmmm to bad your weekend was not nice." then change the subject.
Start talking about classes, your GREAT weekend etc. This way they will learn, slowely but surely that if they want to have a conversation with you, it will have to be about something positive or neutral.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Celeste de Kai The second group are much more problematic, as they constantly try to pick on and belittle others, by various overt and subtle insults. I tried to ignore them at first by not responding to what they said at all, but the strategy backfired as they assumed me as an 'easy target' and continue to shower me with insult at every opportunity. How can I deal with this... diplomatically? I don't want to insult them back as that is just immature and will create hostility in the group, so is there any way to disarm the situation without a verbal fight? |
Do not insult them back, you are right, that will just be lowering yourself to their level.
Have you tried giving them complements in return? Or just in general?
So, whenever they say something nasty, you go "ow, btw, I really like those earrings/shoes/bag" or "I heard you got an A in Science, great job!"
This will get them out of the mind set of being nasty (which they probably are because they are insecure to be in a new school/college, having to deal with all types of social issues) and get them in a mindset of being nice, or at least gratitute.
It is very difficult to keep on being nasty when somebody just paid you a well meaning complement...