ethereal--
It just is. Words like enlightenment, satori, kensho, rapture, are invented after the fact to describe the indescribable. Anything you say about your experience is just a story -- an attempt to find symbolic representation for experience which is beyond expression. That story is for you and you alone; it cannot be held up to the stories of any other, because while the source is the same, the medium -- the person through whom the experience is expressed -- is not. If you think about it, that's far more valuable than being able to label it and rate it on a scale.
You're addressing a few separate things at once here. Ego reconciliation, expansion of awareness and spiritual growth are not one and the same, though they are related. What we would call enlightenment includes all of these (and possibly other) lines of development.
Structurally speaking, these things come in two ways: as states of being and as stages of growth. The distinction is states can come to anyone, anytime regardless of level of development, but they are not permanent. Stages are a permanent acquisition. States are like signposts along the road to stages.
The interrelation comes in that ego is opposed to all three of these, and a states tend to come suddenly, ego tends to backlash against them. This can come through fear, anger and a host of other negative reactions. We cannot always eliminate those reactions, but by not feeding them the ego gradually loses its power to oppose and we come closer to the next stage.
The risk is that we see the signposts as the destination, and we start seeking the states for their own sake or mistake them for stages and use them to feed the ego, thinking we are "enlightened." If you grab hold of a signpost, you stop moving down the road.
Hope that's helpful. Either way, just keep following the signposts.
