“When nothing seems to help, I go look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it, but all that had gone before.” --Jacob Riis
Yours is a case of beliefs. You don't change because you don't believe you can change. Look at your opening sentence to this thread. Look throughout your own post, which is riddled with beliefs about yourself that are negative and limiting. Examine your beliefs and discard the ones that aren't useful. How? When you catch yourself telling yourself one of those negative beliefs, stop yourself midthought and tell yourself a different belief (even if you don't believe it). The idea is more to get you to stop thinking that old negative belief moreso than it is to get you thinking the new one. Interupt that pattern any way you know how.
Stop focusing on all your past failures and problems and start accentauting your strength. You have to be good at something. Or at the very least, there has to be things you enjoy doing that you COULD get good at if you just took the time to get good at them.
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