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Originally Posted by brendannz  It sounds like your time with that girl was awesome and you did very well, it just didn't have a future. |
I think you're right. Also, I've learned a lot from it (and my previous dates with other girls) and I'm looking forward to dating the next girl.
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I can always think of fun things to talk about, but do so in a too serious way and monotone.. and sometimes too much about myself, I think.. But think I just need to relax..
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Yeah - I think relaxing is the main part. I usually ended up talking too much about myself on a date if there were a lot of silences and I felt like I had to drive the main part of the conversation. Lately I've started saying nothing when there's an pause and wait for her to say something - since she's just as responsible for keeping the conversation alive.
I think the real trick is really listening to her when she's talking about things she's passionate about and be genuinely interested. I used to fidget a lot when talking to attractive girls because I would get nervous from worrying about what to say next. Being in the moment lessens that immensely. Besides, I've found that fidgeting because I'm nervous is just an "action tendency" - it's entirely possible to project a feeling of being calm, confident and collected even if you're feeling extremely nervous. Lots of people who speak in public are terrified, but still act like they're in total control. My experience tells me that acting calm and confident can in itself make me more calm - "fake it till you make it", I guess
By the way - my next goals are:
- Set up a date with the girl I've started writing with on the dating site (7)
- Hit the clubs with friends on Friday and try out cheesy pickup lines - with the specific goal of getting rejected (10)