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Originally Posted by Master of Darkness  i fear nothin but i do care for others. i know they are me exept one which is me in the past and future. i have to merge with tha6 one then it will make things easyer.and i do have one that is wat u call dangerous and evil. the one is my anger version and there no way to stop it when it takes control.
i trust all but one part of me.and i know that all answers are within me. |
See, that is exactly what I mean. Reintegrating this part of you that you don't trust to take control will be part of what is ahead of you to "unlock" your powers. After all, when you do not trust yourself to use them well (the anger might take over), you are artificially limiting yourself.
A good friend of mine used to be very vengeful. In her wrath, whoever played her badly got some really nasty feedback from her and happened to become sick/depressed/financially challenged etc.
Eventually, she realized that both it is not her "task" to punish, and that she was impeding herself with this "vengeance" aspect of her, and second that we need to respect the free will of all others, even when they choose to use that will to what we consider their own detriment. Now she is using her powers in a more balanced way, and is much happier because of it. And moving on in big steps in her own development again, too.
It has been years ago that I talked with her about her dark side, and the realization process has taken years to really come to fruition. As with all things, it has to "click" inside you first. But it is doable.
You can't lock this part of yourself away. You even need to "let it out" for a spin occasionally (or it WILL break out forcefully at some point, doing much more damage than you like) and learn to accept it as "you", and find ways to channel its energy in ways you consider acceptable. Yet, these definitions of what you consider "acceptable" are again the limits you impose on yourself.
Let me know if this helps you, I'm trying to sense my way into your perception of your "challenges".