Michelle, you are an artist. Is it possible that you are indulging the artistic tendency to fall a little in love with your sadness? If so, that's fine. Perhaps you have associated your strong feelings with your creativity? Maybe, though, you created this thread because you're getting yourself ready to surrender the sorrow -- to actually let it go. Possibly the act of getting ready to surrender has you clutching it even more dearly.
If you're ready to surrender, I must hound you (again! I know I'm a broken record!) to read the Power of Now. The act of reading that book -- while you are reading it -- I think will give you a breakthrough into the nature of your feeling of separation and sadness, and allow you to disappear it. You might find the description of the Pain Body really interesting.
I apologize if I'm bugging you with this Now, Now, Now all the time.
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