[Michelle]

Perhaps my experience can be of use to someone? I am always happy to answer questions or help a fellow artist if I can.

For around two years now I've lived as somewhat of a hermit. I meditate 4-6 hours a day, read, eat, sleep and take any other inspired action but do nothing else.

For a while I thought God/Source was asking me to make a professional transition from classical singer to spiritual teacher or life coach or something. Singing felt really bad. I was internally blocked and unhappy. No professional success in this area could compensate for that fact, which is the main reason I stopped and turned inward. However, whenever I tried to let singing go completely from my life it would bound back at me with a force.

The same happened when I tried to release my intense spiritual focus. At one point, I forced myself to stop meditating "so much" and get back to my singing work. Ugh. It was horrible and felt horrible. It seemed to me that my singing was getting simulteneously better and worse. Very confusing and frustrating indeed.

In time I learned to deal with the tension of internally following two seemingly separate paths. I learned to trust in my inner guidance and in the mystery of God's or the Universe's divine plan. I learned to embrace the silence because singing was no longer my daily reality. Each morning I would wake up and my new divine lesson plan for the day would be provided in the form of a feeling. After completing my lesson for the day through meditation or some other work, God let me off to do as I pleased.

Each day the fog cleared a little. I made great spiritual/emotional/mental strides. My physical body increasingly reflected this, my ever increasing love-based actions reflected this, my whole word reflected this... except for singing. Still blocked. I still wondered what the hell my purpose is on this planet and why bother even living if all I am going to do is sit around and meditate.

Then, one day, while listening to one of my favorite pieces of music I started to cry at the sheer beauty of the interpretation. It touched me deeply. So deeply, in fact, that I realized it was not a man singing there - it was a man allowing God to sing through him.

In that instant my two paths merged and the tension subsided. I realized, my spiritual path over the last couple years had to do with surrendering to God/Source and allowing Him to take the reigns. It had to do with becoming humble and realizing I am nothing without God/Source. That it is extremely arrogant to believe I know what is better for me and my life than God/Source does. No action I may take, nothing I can want or have has any meaning to it without God/Source. No song I may sing has any power to it unless there is divine love, source energy and inspiration in the driver's seat. This is what great artists mean when they say they are "channels" of something higher. They realize it has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with God/Source.

Just thought I'd share. I know artist's block can be very tough and many artists never find their way out.