Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post

Love · 02-15-2007, 06:21 PM

Hi Lrose.
It does seem like a difficult situation. You're supposed to want to have a relationship with your father. He's supposed to be at your wedding. Well, what do you do if you don't want that relationship? Me, I love my dad, but I had to kick him out of my life because I can't agree with his values or the way he conducts his life. Maybe this could work for you too? I told my dad, dad, we've tried, it doesn't work, we have a great deal of differences, I love you, but you need to stay out now. I don't speak with him any more, but I still care about him, and that what works for me. My other friend, who also has dad problems, just tries to escape him the best she can. She told her dad not to come to our graduation and he didn't. My dad did (it was before I kicked him out). But basically if you don't want him to be at your wedding, tell him that. If you feel really guilty invite him to meet your new spouse at some other time. Your day shouldn't be spoiled. It's really frustrating to think that blood ties are the be-all and end-all of everything, when there are so many different types of relationships that can be more meaningful and beneficial than one of blood.

Good luck, lrose.

02-15-2007, 06:21 PM	#4 (permalink)
Love Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 513	Hi Lrose. It does seem like a difficult situation. You're supposed to want to have a relationship with your father. He's supposed to be at your wedding. Well, what do you do if you don't want that relationship? Me, I love my dad, but I had to kick him out of my life because I can't agree with his values or the way he conducts his life. Maybe this could work for you too? I told my dad, dad, we've tried, it doesn't work, we have a great deal of differences, I love you, but you need to stay out now. I don't speak with him any more, but I still care about him, and that what works for me. My other friend, who also has dad problems, just tries to escape him the best she can. She told her dad not to come to our graduation and he didn't. My dad did (it was before I kicked him out). But basically if you don't want him to be at your wedding, tell him that. If you feel really guilty invite him to meet your new spouse at some other time. Your day shouldn't be spoiled. It's really frustrating to think that blood ties are the be-all and end-all of everything, when there are so many different types of relationships that can be more meaningful and beneficial than one of blood. Good luck, lrose.