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Old 09-12-2009, 09:51 AM   #15 (permalink)
Ronnock
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I concur with James. While there can be exceptions to the "rule", I believe it is best for you to take a leave of absence from this guy.

I too had an INCREDIBLY emotional break up with an ex of mine. I tried to be "just friends" after the break-up and I started doing stupid things which I knew would put my feelings for her in jeopardy (why I did this...I don't truly know, but I have a feeling it was to see how I truly felt about the situation). I realized that I couldn't be "just friends" and I needed time off from trying to be in that situation.

It was roughly about 3 months since then, when I met her again for the first time. It was interesting to note that when I had pretty much gotten "over her". It turns out, that she hadn't gotten over the break-up and couldn't handle being around me (I thought this to be a bit weird, since she was the one who broke-up with me and she did some other very peculiar things to me, that suggested certain messages, but this is about you not me, I'll save that for another topic).

I pretty much then told her that if she needs to be apart from me until she feels like we can be friends, then that was fine. I would give her her space.

It's been about 9 months now and I still haven't talked with her since that 3rd month benchmark. I always wonder if I'll ever talk to her again, but I really don't know. Only the future will tell.

I suggest you do what James says. Let it go for at LEAST 4 months, then possibly 6 if you still feel like you haven't gotten over him yet. I also suggest you do what someone else suggested: Go out and see other men (this helped me...but of course with girls), go hang out with old friends (and meet new ones), and visit with family. I also found that picking up a hobby and trying to better yourself in it was prodigiously helpful for my psyche.
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