I have been reading through these very interesting posts. I have had similar experiences that by hindsight have become very clear.
I grew up very close to the woods and there was a spirit that used to visit me. It was male and had stag antlers and stood in the doorway with the light behind him. He never did anything except pull me out of my body towards him. I remember it all being in slow motion, how I would get out of bed and float across the room. It usually started with this buzzing in my head that "woke" me up to the dream state where the spirit was.
As I got older, this stuff would happen but also with real men who were in my life. I always thought it was someone fantasizing about me and that they were interested -- that it was a prelude to something. Sometimes it was -- and if that was the case they would tell me what they had been doing so that I learned to trust my instincts on this. When it came to nothing it was like being raped. Deceived and raped.
Since this often happened in my sleep, I was not always able to block it out. The worst part would be if some guy was using me on that level and he was sleeping with someone else, I would become so sick to my stomach I couldn't stand it. If I was seeing the guy, it was really bad because I think my energy was getting mixed up with someone else's -- I don't know. I didn't even have to be seeping with him for this to happen, just have the chemistry.Because of this I have never been able to understand how people can have non-monogamous relationships. Do they all go around being sick all the time?
In 1989 after years of spiritual practices, I had full blown kundlini awakening and "enlightenment' I had Indian people coming along to stare into my eyes. I started my healing practice and worked all the time. I still do, but not so much now.
In 19997, I went to U.K. on my King Arthur Tour and met a young Indian guy that I bicycled with around Inishmoore. It was nice and friendly and fun. We talked and he told me he knew I was enlightened.
I got home and found that every time I sat down to meditate prior to seeing clients, that this guy would be in my space in a totally sexual way. It was very confusing for me at the time because he was 15 years younger than me and yet... The problem with astral sex is that it is better than the real thing and goes very deep. I won't be graphic, but it is amazing. It got so that I couldn't meditate any more. He just took over my energy field so that it was like sharing my aura with him. It was really bad for me, very isolating. I struggled a lot. I didn't want it but couldn't stop it. It was confusing like sexual abuse always is. Non consensual.
He knew what he was doing and even called me and admitted it. I became so bonded with him because of this that I went to England to see him and find out what he really wanted. I thought it was love because, what else would it be? Then he told me he "thought" he was gay. I said "How can that be? I'm not a man." He had no answer for that but just worked at ruining our friendship. It was the most emotionally devastating experience I ever had with a man because it struck on so many levels.
Well hindsight told me that he was just one mega energy Vampire. He knew I had all of this spiritual energy and he found a way to siphon it off. It was very damaging to me I'm afraid. It didn't do him any good either in the end. It was complete waste of time.
I have seen advertisements for men about how to get into women like this. It is VERY evil. I would rather deal with an entity, a demon, even the Devil himself than one of these human Vampires. As a seduction method it is pure nasty magic.
I don't know if this is useful to anyone, It might be TMI.Lol! But I hope it helps with perspective.
Best,
Arlene deWinter
WINTERSPELLS: Life on the Magical Path, Legacy of the Witchblood Gothic Faery Tales