Even though Michael isn't going to look at this post again I'd like to reply to what he wrote about my reason for writing it:
I definitely WAS looking for advice. I was wondering if my feelings were wrong and I was open to any opinion that could have changed my feelings. In fact, I was hoping that my feelings could change because I wanted my relationship to work.
I tried to apply many of the opinions that I read in this post to my relationship. I asked him more questions about his reasons for watching porn than I would have if I hadn't posted (then tried to be comfortable with his reasons); I tried to see that my feelings about porn were more about me than about him (which is true, but I discovered now that I have a right to those feelings).
So, I tried. I really did. I didn't disregard the replies that were contrary to how I felt. I appreciated all of the replies, even the ones that upset me. In fact, the ones that upset me challenged my feelings on the subject and helped me figure myself out.
In the end though, all of the opinions that I tried to apply failed in changing how I felt about the subject. I discoved that I have to honor and respect my own feelings and stop trying to be someone that I'm not (thank you very much to everyone for helping me get here). Therefore, since discovering the above, I stand by what I wrote:
"The bottom line though is that everyone has to follow their own instincts. I appreciate the discussion, but there isn't any one opinion that could have made me feel okay about my boyfriend watching porn [which I discovered only AFTER trying to apply and realize the opinions in this post]"
On another note, Sally, thank you again. Your posts mirror the true voice in me that I often try to ignore, and for that, I am forever greatful. I often feel shame for feeling anything other than happiness, so I thank you for confirming that my feelings are allowed. I should start to use my feelings to guide me to a happier life rather than try to suppress them.
All the best!!
Farryn
