I don't know if this will be helpful, but it was for me, back when I was transitioning from being the shyest person in the world into.... what I am now. Maybe it will be helpful to keep in mind as you develop social courage, too.
Everybody* is afraid of you, too.
People want to feel connected with you, and they are concerned about rejection and embarrassment and saying something dumb -- they don't want to hurt their own chances of feeling connected and safe anymore than you do. You may at times feel a bit powerless over your anxiety, but it's pretty easy to see the power you have with others. You have the power to help others feel safe, welcome, and connected.
You might want to try surrendering the anxiety and generating compassion for all those other people out there who also want what you want. If they were feeling how you're feeling, what do you think would make a difference in comforting and connecting? What kind of person would you be being if everywhere you went, you were helping others feel connected to each other and to you? You are bestowing great gifts on people when you contribute to the feeling of interconnectedness -- you are a generous generator.
Be courageous for others -- do it for them, rather than for yourself, and see if that makes a positive difference. See how it feels to generously shine the brilliant light that is Who You Are for the world to bask in, and allow yourself to bask in the brilliant light of others.
This one shift in perspective made a huge difference for me in how I walk in the world. I can hardly remember now shyness feels like.
You're really doing something tremendous for the world by Being Connection and Love. Congratulations, and thank you for that!
Lots of love,
Angela
*That's an exaggeration; there are some exceptions, of course, but in general, most people have some degree of social anxiety, so I'm using sweeping generalizations here. Please just try it on as if it's universally true, to see if it helps you get the results you want.
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