Wow!
JHL ... as I was reading your post, I really felt like I was reading my Biography (up until 1 year ago) ! So, I can relate 100%.
I'm 34 and until 1 year ago, I never had written goals, did not have a life purpose and didn't really knew what I wanted long term, aside from the usual enough money, cosy retirement, etc as you wrote. I didn't even know if I wanted kids until my wife and I began talking about it !
Yet, life has treated me very well also; good career and well paid, beautiful wife, amazing kids (1 year old girl and 3 year old boy), nice house.
However, things were pretty tough in 2004 and 2005. The birth of our first child changed our life more than we expected, I had a very hard time getting motivated to go to work. During that time, my wife and I came very close to a separation and I almost burned-out.
Then, in January 2006, I stumbled on the book "The Success Principles" from Jack Canfiled. It completely transformed the way I look at life. This book not only looks at goal setting, it looks at everything required to succeed in life. I consider this as one of the most important turning point in my life.
Now, I have a life purpose and I have goals (long term and short term). Every day I take actions that get me closer to these goals. I changed my habits and mind set to align myself for success.
Ok, enough reflection. All this to say that I was where you are and now I know where I am going. So, you can do it too!
Now, how do you know what you really want ?
There are many methods and exercices to know this. Most self-improvement books will have these and personality tests can also help. Here are a few questions that have helped me figure it out:
- If you were to win a huge amount of cash at the lottery, after the year of traveling, the spending, the partying, after the dust settles down ... how would you spend your days ?
- What do you love so much doing in life that you would be willing to do it for free?
- What is so important and vital to you that you would do anything to get it (compare this need as the need for water and food)?
-If you were to attend your funeral and your best friend, your wife and one of your kids were to speak up in front of the audience, what would you want them to say about you and your life?
You see, it's not just about goals. You need to know deep inside what you want. If your goals are not a true need or desire, you will not be able to stay motivated to reach them.
So, another key is Passion. Those who succeed have found a way to earn a living doing what they love the most.
Bottom line, the tools and information to help you figure out what you want exist. You just need to find them.
One final thought ... once you know what you want ... make sure you see the movie "The Secret". It is an amazing movie that talks about the law of Attraction (or the mindset you need to have to get anything you want in life).
Good Luck!
René
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