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andrew · 02-13-2007, 06:38 AM

Hello my friend.

I can empathize with you and your situation, even though I'm about half your age. Do a search on some of the posts I made about myself to see what my story is, it's not as bad as yours, but maybe it's some inspiration.

You need to know that there is no quick fix for this: it WILL take years. Now I can't really relate to somebody so old as in what to do with social situations, because the things I'd do, you would look foolish doing.

But what you need to do is really, now I mean really think about how grateful you are for what you DO have.

I'd also like to point out this about the cool part of town talk. People like me and LIS space don't care if those people are trendwhores or aren't great people; we see that they're having fun doing what they're doing with other people. It doesn't matter what it is, it's just the fact that they with other people enjoying social activities and we're not. I mean sure after going to parties and being obnoxious you find it isn't right for you, great. But there's nothing really wrong with reasonable partying, and for somebody that can't or hasn't, it's something quite mystical.

But it's the fact of not being able to do it if you WANTED to that is hard. Not having the option of doing something. If you don't like it, great, but at least it's available to you.

Hell, being almost 20 and not doing a lot of these things and I feel like I've waisted so much time. I can't imagine what it's like another 14 years.

The truth is, you can do it. But it will be an uphill battle and you're going to have to put so much more effort into it. The feeling is that most people just do these things: "oh party friday at Amanda's see you there man", whereas we have to spend months just getting around people that might even know about parties, let alone be INVITED to one.

I started my turn around about 4 years ago. I look totally different, I think different, I get treated different, and girls look at me different. All in good ways. Now I am considered attractive, as modestly as possible, but 4 years ago I wasn't. I may have been born with it, but it was automatic. I had to work 4 years to look like what I am, so it's like the ugly duckling story all over again. I'm saying this because there's SO MUCH you can do both mentally and physically to become more attractive. It's one of the biggest parts of social aspects, what others see you like. But here the catch: they see you how you se yourself. So if you see yourself as a million bucks, dress like it, think like it, act like it, and expect to be treated like it, so will other people. It's not about CARING what other people about you, that's different. This is the RESULT of what you do to be the best you can be to yourself, not to please other people.

The cool part of town talk again, yes, those people care what other people think. They do stuff to be acceptant because that's the easy way, or they just enjoy and are ignorantly blissful. But I digress. The point is to make yourself look nice, make yourself a better person for you. What other people think of you isn't the goal, it's the result.

Make sense?

02-13-2007, 06:38 AM	#10 (permalink)
andrew Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: California, USA Posts: 593	Hello my friend. I can empathize with you and your situation, even though I'm about half your age. Do a search on some of the posts I made about myself to see what my story is, it's not as bad as yours, but maybe it's some inspiration. You need to know that there is no quick fix for this: it WILL take years. Now I can't really relate to somebody so old as in what to do with social situations, because the things I'd do, you would look foolish doing. But what you need to do is really, now I mean really think about how grateful you are for what you DO have. I'd also like to point out this about the cool part of town talk. People like me and LIS space don't care if those people are trendwhores or aren't great people; we see that they're having fun doing what they're doing with other people. It doesn't matter what it is, it's just the fact that they with other people enjoying social activities and we're not. I mean sure after going to parties and being obnoxious you find it isn't right for you, great. But there's nothing really wrong with reasonable partying, and for somebody that can't or hasn't, it's something quite mystical. But it's the fact of not being able to do it if you WANTED to that is hard. Not having the option of doing something. If you don't like it, great, but at least it's available to you. Hell, being almost 20 and not doing a lot of these things and I feel like I've waisted so much time. I can't imagine what it's like another 14 years. The truth is, you can do it. But it will be an uphill battle and you're going to have to put so much more effort into it. The feeling is that most people just do these things: "oh party friday at Amanda's see you there man", whereas we have to spend months just getting around people that might even know about parties, let alone be INVITED to one. I started my turn around about 4 years ago. I look totally different, I think different, I get treated different, and girls look at me different. All in good ways. Now I am considered attractive, as modestly as possible, but 4 years ago I wasn't. I may have been born with it, but it was automatic. I had to work 4 years to look like what I am, so it's like the ugly duckling story all over again. I'm saying this because there's SO MUCH you can do both mentally and physically to become more attractive. It's one of the biggest parts of social aspects, what others see you like. But here the catch: they see you how you se yourself. So if you see yourself as a million bucks, dress like it, think like it, act like it, and expect to be treated like it, so will other people. It's not about CARING what other people about you, that's different. This is the RESULT of what you do to be the best you can be to yourself, not to please other people. The cool part of town talk again, yes, those people care what other people think. They do stuff to be acceptant because that's the easy way, or they just enjoy and are ignorantly blissful. But I digress. The point is to make yourself look nice, make yourself a better person for you. What other people think of you isn't the goal, it's the result. Make sense?